And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
