hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
