I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
