Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
im holly from the hills drunk
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
