I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
