there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
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Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
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Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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