I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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