sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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