and my herpes radar will keep us safe
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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