Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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