Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
