sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
