Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
