I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
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