you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize