I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
