would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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