my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
