We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
