And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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