I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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