You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
