i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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