I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
