Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I will be naked everywhere
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
