ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
