I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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