How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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