people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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