I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
