Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
