just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Houston, we have a blender
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
My life is pants optional.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
