I must be too annoying 4 u.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
