I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
