called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
