dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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