I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize