My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
