i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
accomplished twins. life is a go
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
