i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
