I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
