Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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