oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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