When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
