My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize