so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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