i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
