put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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