You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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