I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I will pee on everything he values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize