At least make sure they are 18
Why
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
