I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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