I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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