Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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