Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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