If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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