Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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