You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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