I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
