On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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