can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
