i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You've changed since you got that strap on
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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