yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
