Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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