I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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